Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling; no profit is intended or being made. Thanks a thousand times to Kel for the insta-beta.


Sirius got the password from James when he threatened to tell Lily how, exactly, James aquired her birthday present.

"So that's how you always wake up ten minutes to class and yet still show up freshly washed and bright-eyed, whereas we have to wake up an hour early like Muggles just to get a shot at the showers." Remus shook his head. "And here I thought you were actually clever and had developed some brilliant spell."

Sirius shrugged as they crept along the fourth floor. "I am brilliant. I got James to tell me the password." He stopped at one of the doors, and said the password.

Going into the Prefects' bathroom was a bit of a shock. The dorm toilets were adaquete, sure, but the faucets always leaked a bit, and in the winter the tile was freezing on their feet. This bathroom had an Ever-Warm heated floor installed, and a chandelier.

"I don't believe this," Remus said, mouth gaping. "And those bastards keep this all to themselves?"

Sirius immediately threw his shoes off, locking the door behind him. "Sweet merciful Alchemides, there's a hundred taps in here."

"Oh, witty." Remus squatted by the edge of the monstrous pool immediately, and turned the tap marked 'water'. It was the only one marked with any writing at all -- every other one had an assortment of weird jewels on the handles. He looked at them.

Sirius leaned against him, asked, "What do you suppose all these do?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know, but it's not like they're likely to spew acid."

"That's true," and Sirius started flipping them on and off one by one.

The first three poured out scented bubbles in varying shades of pink. Sirius grimaced at each of them, turning them off. The bubbles disappated quickly. "I have to say," he said thoughtfully, "that pink, to me, is not a sexy color."

Remus played with another tap. What looked like light blue golf balls started floating in the tub. "What in God's name do you suppose these are?"

Sirius bent dangerously close to the water and poked one. It wobbled for a moment, then popped, releasing a sweet and yet spicy scent into the air.

They played around for a while, throwing foam about and splashing each other, as the tub filled.

One tap, which was a good deal smaller and looked newer, seemed to release a type of light steam which drifted slowly across the edge of the water, when Sirius flipped it on. He sniffed carefully, but there was no scent of flowers or lavender -- rather, a faint sharp tinge of mint. When the steam brushed past Sirius's bare arm, he shivered.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Sirius frowned. "I don't, I don't know. Lean into it." He grinned slightly, turning the tap more. "I like it. Let's leave this one on for a bit."

Remus stuck and arm carfully into the steam, and a kind of icy hot sensation passed over his skin. He shivered too. Sirius started pulling off his shirt as Remus bent over to examine a set of other knobs. "What do you suppose those are?"

Sirius glanced over. "Oh, James said those were shampoos and such."

Remus tested a few with careful squirts, wrinkling his nose each time. "All floral," he said, and then as he tested another, added, "and for some reason seaweed."

Sirius looked over at him. "Seaweed?"

Remus shrugged, wiping his hand off on a spare towel. "I don't know."

Sirius grimaced. "That, my friend, is also not sexy. Seaweed shampoo. I don't get it."

Remus kicked his shoes off and started pulling off his socks too. Sirius, meanwhile, was standing up, bare-chested already. The steam, or mist, whatever it was, had gently drifted across the water and covered it, not to mention the tile. It was already past Sirius's knees and the room was quickly filling.

Remus looked around. "Sirius, do you think maybe we should turn this off?" he asked, waving an arm around. Mist clung to the hairs on his forearm as he moved, and his skin trembled with the sensation. Icy, and hot at the same time.

Sirius wasn't listening. One hand was slowly undoing the buttons on his pants and it was obvious he was already hard. His hand lingered, for a minute, then eventually Sirius kicked his pants off, shaking his foot out of the leg and leaving them in a heap on the floor.

"I think," he said, standing there in nothing but his briefs, "we have discovered the conspiracy of why everyone wants to be a Prefect."

Remus raised an eyebrow, swallowed. "Okay, you've lost me."

Sirius shook his shoulders out. Remus, crouching on the floor, had mist covering himself almost up to his shoulders. Sirius remained standing and the mist crept slowly up his thighs, rustling the hairs on his legs.

Sirius answered, "They want to use this bathroom."

Unbuttoning his own shirt, Remus shuddered immediately, goosebumps forming as his chest and shoulders were exposed to the air. "They want to be able to sleep in mornings?"

Sirius grinned. He crooked a finger and reluctantly Remus stood up. Trails of white fog clung to him, like cloud or smoke. "We have found out," Sirius said slowly, "where the Prefects have sex."

Remus moved over to where Sirius was standing, eyebrow cocked and a hand on his hip. He licked his lips. "We have."

Sirius grabbed his waistband and pulled him closer, and Remus went, stumbling a little on the damp tile. Sirius's one hand was pulling off Remus's trousers and the other was stroking his arm gently. Everywhere that Sirius's fingers touched was burning hot, and all around the edges of his skin was freezing, like ice and flame at once. His hips rocked against Sirius, instinctively, but he laughed when Sirius said, "You know. James and Lily, why do you think they're Head Boy and Girl?"

Though gasping a little already, since Sirius's hand -- having managed to throw Remus's pants over his shoulder -- had gone to stroking him through his briefs, Remus replied, "okay, that is also not sexy."

Sirius laughed too, and said, "do you know what I bet would be good?"

Remus, having a very good idea of what this might be, didn't answer, just pulled down Sirius's briefs as Sirius did the same to him. As his underwear came off, a full body shudder went through Remus as the mist finally curled around his waist.

Sirius moaned a little, pressing against him. Right before they kissed, Sirius murmured, "even I'd be a Prefect for this."

Remus, his mouth busy, tongue moving slowly against Sirius's mouth and hand stroking Sirius's hip, murmured in reply, "It's good you can pick presents."

Sirius tried to answer, but could only let out a gasp and pulled him down into the fog.


James, the next morning, scowled at them both. Remus, handing him the toast, said, "all right, sourpuss, what's got your back up?"

Sirius chomped his bacon cheerfully. "Had a bath yet today?"

Looking at Lily automatically, James went rather pink. "Bloody well didn't and you two know it. There was no--" He coughed. "water."

Lily looked intently at her breakfast. Remus snorted, and Sirius's eyes widened. "No water?" He looked disbelieving. "I didn't think this castle ever ran out of water. We have a great ruddy lake outside." He ate more bacon. "Now, there may have been a bit of a dearth of wispy fog coming out of tap number--"

"Shut it, already." Coming dangerously close to a pout, James grabbed the toast. "You know, just because I gave you the password," he said, grumpy, "doesn't mean you have to empty the *tank*."