Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling; no profit is intended or being made. ummm. so once upon a time, there was the internet, and there was harry potter. and there was glockgal. and lo, glockgal drew this picture. and it was kind of amazing. and then there was porn.


"Again?" Peter squeaked.

Remus shrugged. "So says Sirius." He ate his pudding calmly. "Something about the stars and the wind and the daring of doing it where anyone could look up, squint, and see people on the--"

"Okay!" and Peter clapped his hands over his ears. "Stop! Now! It's like imagining my parents suddenly taking out an ad for another witch or wizard in Dungeon Lore." Remus raised an eyebrow, and Peter immediately turned purple with embarrassment. "Shut up. You know that Sirius has a copy."

"It's kind of sweet," Remus said to him. "They're all in love--"

"Who's in love, my fine friends?" Sirius asked. He hopped onto the bench beside Remus and Peter, draping an arm over both of them. "Have you two decided to get your own cottage?"

"Shut up," Peter retorted, miserably. "I'm going to have a bath."

Remus grinned widely at him. "Have a good, bath," he called out. "No, I was just informing Peter of Lily and James' whereabouts."

"Ahh!" Sirius crowed, beaming. He heaped a pile of jam tarts and mince pies on his plate, sprinkling the lot with more sugar. Remus absently poured him a cup of tea, and put it within reach of Sirius and the sugar bowl. "Our lovebirds are at it again?"

"North tower this time, I think," Remus commented. He watched Sirius pour two spoonfuls of sugar into his teacup, and stir vigorously. "It does Peter good to hear it."

Sirius snorted, sipping his tea. "In more ways than one," he said.

"Still," Remus said, casually, "it's fairly."

"mind-numbing?" Sirius supplied. "Pornographic?" He nibbled on a mince pie. "Brain-melting? Amazingly weird and yet?" He sipped his tea. "The kind of thing you know you're going to hell for wanting to see, because James is your best mate and Lily is your best mate's girl, and--"

"Down," Remus said. "I was going to say sweet."

"No you weren't."

Remus stood up. "Well, if you're going to eat all of those, there's no way we'll catch them."

Sirius spat crumbs everywhere. "Catch them?" He wiped his mouth, nearly tripping over the bench as he trotted after Remus, who was already rapidly exiting the dining hall. "You intend to spy on them?"

The two of them, racing up the West Tower stairs, nearly tripped over a couple of third years. "Spy is such a nasty word," Remus told him. "I prefer to think of it as fufilling their fantasies of exhibitionism."

"Are you sure that we'll be able to see anything from the West Tower roof?" Sirius asked. "Or that they'll--"

"Shhh!" Remus said, pulling Sirius through a door and into a storage closet at the top of the Tower. "We just have to-- damnit, where's that--" and he pulled a knob, kicked the fireplace grate - why a storage room would have a fireplace, Sirius didn't know or care - and then they felt fresh air on their cheeks.

Sirius clambered out onto the little roof, trying to be stealthy. Remus followed him. And, oh. yes.

There was North Tower.

"Is," Remus said, and swallowed. "Boy."

"Did." Sirius gripped Remus's shoulder, and tried to press himself back onto the slats of the roof. The lip was a little tilted, and not really that wide. "They're. Are they standing up?"

Remus cocked a knee up, scooting up enough so that his back was pressed against the stone of the Tower. They were perched on an overhang; the actual spire of West Tower was one floor above them. Across the quad, they could make out two figures, most definitely standing - or kneeling at best - on the North Tower roof. Which was flat, and also had a low wall.

"Can you see." Sirius swallowed, mouth dry. "Much?"

Remus squinted against the dusk. "Ah." Sirius carefully reajusted his position, hoping that he wasn't going to pitch right off the roof. Remus said, "I think. They're." His voice wavered a little, went a bit higher. "Well, I know that both of them still have their school uniforms on."

Sirius mentally cursed his eyes for not having telescoping lenses or something. "They do?" He leaned forward a little, and Remus grabbed the back of his robes, instinctively jerking him backwards. Sirius coughed, mouth still dry. "Is, they're."

He stopped, and just sat, mouth open. Lily's hair was unmistakeable, as was her head thrown back, throat exposed, body tilted into James'. Her skirt blew around, but the wall obscured anything else Sirius could see. He craned his neck, but could only get a glimpse of their actual. bodies.

"Should we be watching this?" Sirius asked suddenly. He was horribly guilty for all of two seconds.

Remus turned to him. "They're the ones that are shagging out in the open. They're the ones that *told us* where they'd be." He turned back to North Tower. "I don't know who I envy," Remus said, half amused. His voice was a little breathy.

"True," Sirius conceded. The guilt vanished, and burning envy took its place. "I envy both of them." Sirius licked his lips. "Bastards."

From the pace of the. rocking. Sirius ran a hand over his forehead. he might have been sweating a little. The rocking. They were almost finished. Remus sighed. "That could be us, you know," he answered, a little wistful, still breathy. "We could be fucking on top of North Tower, and Lily and James could be watching--"

"Don't," Sirius croaked, "finish that sentence." Every muscle in his thighs was tense and taut, and he was getting a cramp from trying not to lean forward so much he fell.

Remus patted the back of his neck. "Well, it wouldn't be that good," he said, and inhaled sharply as Lily's body stilled for a minute, arched out, before the two of them started moving again. "The stone would be right chilly," he added, "you'd get bruises on your knees."

Sirius snuck a glance at him, and it was obvious that Remus' face was flushed, even if the sun was nearly gone. "Right," he said. "Akward position," he added, "you'd have to work, to. keep your balance. and."

There was a scrape, and Sirius turned away from James and Lily - not without effort. "Sorry," and Remus was rubbing his leg fiercely. "I uh. Slipped."

"Right," Sirius said. Lily's skirt blew up again, and he saw one of James' arms snake around her belly, disappear between. and. her arm curled up to grip his hair. "Um. And it'd be horrible."

"Really would." Remus still had Sirius' cloak wrapped around his fingers. "And can you imagine? Your friends watching you while you. when you were so. you had to do it bad enough that you couldn't even take off your uniform." Remus swallowed. "We could be up there, all the world to see, and--" but Sirius clamped a hand over Remus' knee, firmly. His fingertips dug into Remus' thigh. "Sirius?"

"I have to get off this fucking roof," Sirius told him. "Now."

Remus pressed in on a brick, and the little carved window opened behind him. Sirius damned near fell through it in his haste to get inside. Remus did fall inside, and Sirius caught him inelegantly. "So now what?" he asked.

Sirius bit his lip, glancing over to the still-open view - secret window? gateway to hell? - Whatever it was, the fireplace still didn't obscure North Tower one bit. He could still see Lily and James as well as ever, only now they were arching, stretching, and if Sirius squinted it looked like a little more of their bodies was coming into view over the low stone wall each. time.

Remus shook his shoulder. "Sirius, you're acting mental."

"I hate them," Sirius said by way of an answer. "And I hate you too," he added. For some reason, he couldn't take his eyes off the scene out the window. For some reason. He snorted. "If you hadn't gone off talking about how it could have been us--"

"They'd probably mind the company," Remus told him. "And I thought we'd drifted apart again. Still, if you're willing to race down and up another eight flights of steps I suppose something might--"

"Shut up," Sirius said, and grabbed him.

Remus murmured something, and they were kissing for a minute but then Sirius said, "We've enough foreplay, let's just get to this before dinner's all gone--" and then there was a finger.

Remus grabbed his hips, carefully, and actually kind of laughed. "If you're not careful, you'll fall out the bloody window."

Sirius put a bracing palm on either side of the opening, but still faltered, jerking himself forward when Remus started fucking him. "Careful," Sirius managed to say, "I nearly fell out."

"Your own fault," Remus answered.

Sirius kind of shrugged, but mostly concentrated very hard on not plumetting to his death. "You know," he gasped, "we still have our uniforms on."

Remus groaned, and it wasn't much of a surprise, since they'd been sitting on hard-ons for almost ten minutes, but Sirius came with a jolt. Remus rocked him backwards, then stiffened.

The two of them slid to the floor, Sirius trying not to trip over his robes. "Okay," Remus said, gasping ragged and wiping his face with a limp hand. "Well."

"Thank you, North Tower," Sirius muttered.

Remus slouched against the brick. "I think I'm tangled up," he finally commented, gesturing at their clothing.

Sirius glanced at their robes. Not being the more Muggle uniform style, they were, indeed, tangled. "Now we know why Lily always wears her skirts when she does."

"Don't say that," Remus answered. "Every time I see her now, I'm going to--"

"Don't," Sirius interrupted, putting a hand over his mouth, "finish that sentence, either." He closed his eyes, breathing the fresh night air in. The open window was letting in a very welcome cool breeze. "I'm trying very very hard to think up ways not to picture this every single time I see them. And it's not going to work with you talking any more."

Sirius took his hand away, and Remus just took some more shaky breaths. Eventually, he wiped his upper lip, and looked at Sirius. "Shall we tell Peter?"


In the Common Room that night, Peter took one look at Sirius and Remus and scowled. "Oh, you two," he said, looking faintly disgusted. "You're on again, aren't you?"

"Now now," Sirius answered, "have some charity."

Peter gathered up his things. "As long as I don't stumble on the pair of you shagging in a trophy service closet, fine." He eyed James and Lily, curled up in the corner and frowning over their work. "You wouldn't think they'd just been shagging, would you?"

Sirius had his eye on the top of Lily's pretty head. Remus flopped down in an arm chair. "The school would be shocked," he said, agreeably. "Shocked and dismayed."

Peter grinned. "I don't begrudge any of you, I don't," he said. "Just, can't you lock a door once and a while?"