none of these characters are mine. like, seriously none. also, this has no point and is unfinished. er.

harry potter and the x-men


"Codename?" Harry looked blankly from Cyclops to Storm. "But I'm not a full X-men yet--"

"Even members of other teams have names," Cyclops said firmly. "It's traditional."

"Codename?" Harry was still looking a little sceptical. "Like what?"

Storm and Cyclops looked at each other for a moment. "Well, Magik is taken--" he said, "and 'Wizard' is kind of--"

"Lame?" harry muttered. He looked over at Jean. "She doesn't have a code name? Why can't I not have a code name?"

Storm looked solemn. "Jean has died, Harry," she answered, "she has looked far and wide and decided that a code name simply does not encompass--"

"Well," he interrupted. "someone cursed me to die. I didn't, but it's practically the same thing." He brushed hair out of his face, revealing his scar. "Can't I just stick with 'Harry'?"

"It," and Scott looked a trifle irritated. "I think you're missing the point, Harry. We choose code names based on our specific abilities and powers, and--"

"And I'm Harry," he said, and politely excused himself to go watch television with Bobby.


"Mutants and humans will never live in harmony, Charles!" Magneto said, his cape billowing. "You and I both know that the only way to solve this is to--"

Harry had snuck up behind him and muttered some kind of Curse. Magneto paused, mouth open but no sound coming out. Logan paused in his attack. "You know," he said. "I like the kid."


"So," Bobby said. "You're English?"


"Why didn't you join an English super-hero team or something then?" he asked.

Harry shrugged.

"I slept with an English guy once," Bobby said nonchalantly, testing him.

Harry shrugged again. "I lived at a boarding school for eight months of the year," he answered. "In a boy's dorm."

Bobby said, "oh."


"Mr. Sinister?" Harry asked, blankly. "That's your name?"

Sinister steepled his fingers. "My name is Nathanial Essex," he started, voice smooth and menacing. "I have also been known as--"

"right," harry interrupted, shaking out his chains a little and settling down on the floor more comfortably. "Do you by any chance have a great uncle or anything from England?"

Sinister blinked.

"Tall chap, name of Riddle," Harry added helpfully, "went to boarding school in the fifties. Ended up with red eyes, pale face - actually, there's a striking family resemblence." He shuffled. His wand was on the table, but so far Sinister had ignored it, merely watching Harry, waiting for him to show some sign of super powers. "Talked to snakes, that kind of thing."

"I have always felt a certain affinity to reptiles," Sinister finally answered, looking thoughtful. His voice lost a little of the menace, though it wasn't much less grating on the eardrums. "Once, as a young boy I kept an aquarium--"

Harry nodded to himself. "Yes, definitely a resemblence."


Apocalypse burst in, and used whatever technological advances the Skrulls had come up with this week to blast Sinister to bits. "Oh, great," Harry said, disgusted. He tried to wipe bits off his face while still chained up. Perhaps this fellow would leave him alone.

"ARE YOU GENETICALLY SUPERIOR?" the huge mutant finally asked Harry.

Harry blinked. "Er."

"WHAT IS THIS?" Apocalypse asked, turning to the wand sitting in the corner. he picked it up gingerly.

"Er." Harry pulled, managing to free one of his hands carefully. His restraints had come loose from the wall in the blast. He tucked his hand underneath him so Apocalypse wouldn't see. "A wand?"

"A--" Apocalypse stared at the long piece of wood. "A WAND."

"er," Harry said. He was about to issue a warning - politely of course, but it appeared as though Apocalypse was going to attempt to wave it, and that --

"A wand," harry repeated, wiping more bits of things off himself. He added, "a wand has to choose the wizard."


"Well, yes," Harry answered. He carefully pried his arm out of the other restraint, rubbing his wrists fiercely. "it's rather--"


"Er," Harry said.