British QaF. Not my characters, no copyright infringement intended, no profit intended or made.


"So, you're kidding me."


"Stuart, you're bloody kidding me."

"I swear, I did. Just last night, too. I'm not joking, Vince."

"You had sex with six men last night."

Stuart grinned, teeth just barely showing, and eyes half-closed. "Yep."

Vince shook his head. "I don't believe it, mate. I don't fucking believe it. I cop off for the first time in-- forever! and you end up having an orgy. It's typical."

Stuart draped an arm around Vince's shoulders, and kissed his cheek tenderly. "You should have come over, Vince. Copped off properly."

Vince pulled away. "I can't believe that you had an orgy."

Stuart shrugged casually, a bit of a smile on his face. "I was thinkin' of you. All those sweaty limbs and--" he licked his lips, "--cock, and I thought o'you."

"Bollocks, you did!"

"Nah, I didn't." He started the jeep. "But you should have come over anyway."

Vince sighed. "Yeah, right. I come by, and they would have all wanted to just-- give massages and grease each other up, then go to bed."

"I done that, too. One night, the E didn't work right, and no one could get a hard-on."

Vince shook his head, amused and disappointed look on his face. "I can't believe I was excited that I copped off."

"Hey," Stuart said. "Shut it."


Stuart pressed another kiss on Vince's forehead, eyes closed and lips soft. He felt him wince, slightly, and Stuart tried to hide a sad frown. "Listen. You would have been right in there, Vince," he said against his skin.

"Yeah, awright. Let's just go."

Stuart stroked his cheek once more, and then snapped his sunglasses on. "Right then. Let's get buggered."

Vince scowled. "I thought that's what I was."