Deleted scene #1, from Llance the llama: "Lance's opinion of MTV"
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They tried to shepherd the MTV soundcrew as far around the paddock as possible, but the videographer wandered off and Joey had to run over as he started yelling.
"What the fucking fuck is that thing?" and he was pointing wildly at Lance. The llama stood there, blinking innocently.
Joey put a hand to his mouth. Through his fingers, he replied, "New WEG mascot."
The guy looked too disgusted to even contemplate filming the whole thing, which was kind of a huge relief. The relief quickly morphed into sinking worry, however, when Johnny jogged up. Joey looked back at the asshole. His face spelled 'potential lawsuit'.
Johnny asked calmly, "What happened here?"
The guy threw one last venomous look at Lance and slung his camera over his shoulder. "It spat on me."
Joey cupped his hand over his mouth tightly. The guy wiped his face once more, scowling, and Joey's shoulders shook silently. Lance the llama blinked at them again. The corners of his mouth were turned up in a quiet smirk.
Deleted Scene #2, from the Kevin-Kidnaps-Justin fic: "Lance Goes Into Business For Himself"
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Lance flipped through a box of files in the attic, muttering to himself as he tried to find the court case files. At the very bottom of a shoebox titled "bullshit" was the address book with Transcon's private phone line numbers in it.
"Pearlman here."
"Lou, listen, I've got a--"
"Well, now," and Lance heard Lou make a smacking noise with his lips. He held the receiver away with a shudder. "I didn't think you boys even knew my number any more. I'm touched."
"--proposition for you."
Lou sounded suspicious, and more smacking sounds came down the line. "Do you now."
"I'm thinking of having an auction this weekend, and I wanted to give you a chance to put in a silent bid early," Lance replied.
"What's the merchandise?" Lou asked, and damned if it didn't sound like he had someone sucking dick right there on the phone.
Lance swallowed convulsively, trying not to vomit. He forced out, "All five members of O-Town, fresh out of their cradles and ready and eager to go back to transcon. Bidding starts low. Interested?"
Lou laughed, a wet, raspy sound. Lance swallowed again. "You must be desperate to come to me, Lansten. Here's what I'll do. I'll take them off your hands, for a nominal fee." Lance could hear him licking his lips over the phone. "A handler's fee, let's say."
The phone sailed into the toilet, followed almost instantly by Lance's sickened spewing.
*
It wasn't, as Lance quickly found out, as easy to break into the white slave trade as one might have hoped. He called everyone he thought might have had contacts, up to and including P. Diddy and Dre. Diddy hung up on him.
Lance figured that the only rational explanation for Eminem had to be white slavery, but Dre's secretary, though very polite, was completely useless. "No, I'm sorry Mr. Bass," she replied, "I don't know who you might contact. Good luck."
Lance sighed. Downstairs, O-Town kept rehearsing. He cringed, and covered his ears.
Deleted scene #3, also from the Kevin-kidnaps-Justin fic: "The real villain revealed!"
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Howie scowled at Kevin. "You let him go?"
Kevin cowered. "I'm sorry! don't--"
Howie started pacing, his leather jacket flowing out behind him. "This is unacceptable, Richardson. We needed Timberlake, remember?"
"But, sir, if you please, he couldn't write for shit--"
"That," and Howie fingered the riding crop in his hand, "was not the point. Do you remember the point?" Kevin stared at him blankly, and Howie sighed. "The point was to ruin *NSYNC so we might have a chance at an MTV video music award again. Do you remember now?"
"yessir," Kevin said, and gulped.
Howie nodded to himself, finally. "Well, this can't go overlooked. You will be punished later, Kev. Now get lost. I have to think."
Kevin snuck out, to the sound of Howie's maniacal laughter.
Deleted scene #4: from lance! discovers! slash!: "Lance Discovers Monogamy"
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"Lance!"
Lance sighed. "Yes, AJ?"
"I got your number from D. Look, I wondered if you wanted to hook up next time you're in town." AJ's voice was silky. "Maybe for a--"
Lance interrupted. "Yeah, I." He sighed, and actually thought he saw a shadow flicker in the corner of his eye-- lost opportunity, he thought. "I can't."
"Oh." AJ sounded confused. "Oh! Oh, right. Um. yeah, sorry, I forgot that you and--"
"Let's not talk about it." Lance rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, simulator training was really tough today, so um. Can I talk to you when I fly in on Wednesday?"
"Sure, sure. Catch ya later." Before he hung up, AJ said, "Shame."
"Don't I know it." Lance tossed the phone in his suitcase. Damned shame. AJ was hot, and Lance hadn't slept with him before, and he was willing, now, and ... he'd never had a chance.
Lance muttered aloud, "stupid Justin," and went to sleep.